Devoted Deceptions, A 4th Millennium Adventure, Book 3 Page 5

  "Not if Space Corps Command makes it clear the pilots and flight crews report to me until Wulfe is up and about." She'd keep things running the way Wulfe would expect, no matter the cost or who got in the way. Cat felt a twinge of guilt when she thought about how much she'd have to push off on Mykal Lyon. Lyon might regret ever naming her friend, but she'd nearly reached her limit this time.

  `By Command, I suppose you mean me.'

  "No one else."

  `Let me conduct a few negotiations on this end, because the change in procedure won't happen on its own. To think I could be retired by now, but no, I had to let you talk me into Covert.'

  "You live for this kind of thing, Roy. You'd be blithering after a month of dull, uneventful retirement. Besides, the Corps can't afford to lose you right now."

  `Convinced you know me pretty well, aren't you? Give me a few hours. You'll know I've succeeded when hell breaks loose.'

  Cat blanked the comm screen. She closed her eyes, hoping the stolen moment of quiet would soothe the edges of her crumbling control. She seemed to have everyone else convinced she could handle the crisis. Flemming would come through for her. She had to believe. That faith kept all hope alive for her. For the children. For Wulfe. For all of them.

  CAT HESITATED outside sickbay. She still had no sense of connection with Wulfe. Twice in the past Wulfe had been unconscious. Neither time resulted in losing the mental link. This new sense of isolation mangled her confidence. What if they could never reform that wondrous bond? The thought terrified her.

  "Commander?"

  Cat turned to find Mykal Lyon's green-eyed gaze searching her face. What a dear friend. When they were among other people, Mykal took scrupulous care always to refer to her as `Commander' or `Lady'. Only when they were alone did he call her Cat. "Lost in thought, I guess. Did you say something?"

  "I asked after the captain."

  She gestured to the doorway opposite where they stood. "I'm on my way in to see Wulfe now, though I doubt there's a change."

  "He's not awake?"

  "Not yet."

  "The captain doesn't have your remarkable powers of healing, Commander. You need to develop some patience for the untrained. Nothing will keep Wulfe Kincade from your side. Nothing. Surely you know he would battle Garesh himself to be with you."

  "I needed to be reminded of that." A friend who always knew what to say. She squared her shoulders and entered Albright's domain, now slightly less intimidated.

  Cat stood at the side of Wulfe's recovery bed. Never had she seen this indomitable, fearless, obstinate giant of a warrior so defenseless. The sight quite simply broke her heart, and she couldn't do a thing about his condition. Her confidence deflated. Gods, how she despised feeling so helpless, so ineffectual. "Nora?"

  Without flinching, Albright met her gaze from the other side of the bed. The doctor's recently cropped blonde hair looked ragged and spiky from running her hands through the unfamiliar short strands. "I want to move him across to the station."

  Fear for Wulfe prickled sharply across her skin. "Why? I trust you and Moira more than anyone else. What's gone wrong?"

  "Relax, Catherine. Admittedly, I'm not happy about the fact he hasn't wakened, but that's not the reason. The techs will be working in sickbay to expand our capacity level. Isn't the threat of war grand?" Albright bared her teeth in a mirthless grimace. "Just in case enough people don't die by natural causes, some idiot invented war."

  The doctor's gesturing hands settled at her sides. "Sorry. I get carried away sometimes. I don't want the captain disturbed by the noise, that's all."

  Cat's quick swell of panic settled back into the murky pool of worry to which she'd become accustomed over the past hours. "I can live with that reason easily enough if it's the only one."

  "Catherine, do you feel the captain's any closer to consciousness?"

  Cat couldn't look at Albright. She didn't know if she had the strength to admit her weakness, so she kept her gaze on Wulfe's face instead. "You're the doctor."

  "I just thought that with your--"

  "I can't sense anything from him, okay?" Cat glared at her, feeling defensive and utterly vulnerable all at the same time.

  Albright's eyes popped wide open. Then she developed a strong fascination with the bio readouts next to Wulfe's bed. "You sense nothing from him? I mean, well, I thought--"

  "Normally, you'd be right."

  "I knew you were acting strangely. I shouldn't have pushed you. How badly has the bond deteriorated?"

  "Gone entirely," Cat forced the admission out.

  "Oh, heavenly stars, why didn't you say something sooner?"

  "You had enough to be concerned about."

  "I'll let you know when I've reached overload. Anything I can do? Do you think his head injury destroyed the link?"

  "I don't know." Even talking about the break in the link made her feel twitchy. What if the broken bond was part of the reason Wulfe hadn't wakened? It could be her fault, she could have caused this damage. "Forget I said anything. You're certain moving Wulfe to the station won't aggravate his condition?"

  "No reason it should, but your presence might be of help. Can the crew spare you long enough to let you go with us?"

  "My time is yours, at least for the next few hours. Mister Wheeler has seen fit to relieve me of duty." At the moment, that gave her a sense of relief, the freedom to be with her husband.

  Albright's mouth opened in silent surprise.

  "Nora, could I have a few minutes alone with Wulfe before you move him?"

  "Of course. I'll be in my office when you're ready."

  Cat sat on the edge of the bed. Then, in a moment of painful self-indulgence, changed her mind. She couldn't bear to feel so far away from him even when this close. Cat stretched out on the bed next to Wulfe. She wrapped an arm around his waist and rested her head on his massive chest so she could hear the rhythm of his mighty warrior's heart.

  If only, oh, gods, if only she could touch his mind, help him to heal himself. She'd do anything within her power to see those dark eyes open and blaze with emotion. Rage, passion, joy. Any emotion at all would do.

  When Wulfe abandoned her after she miscarried the baby all those years ago, she'd felt desperately alone, but even then, she'd sensed the essence of him, deep in her mind, because the bonding link hadn't been severed. Now that lifeline to sanity had vanished without warning or reason, and she felt more alone, more forsaken, than at any other time in her life. Truly abandoned.

  Lying next to him like this should have filled her with an indescribable sense of joyous completion, but she found instead unqualified loneliness. The same desolate solitude that drove some Erosians to madness or death upon the demise of a mate.

  Cat shivered. Possible scenarios flooded her brain with unwanted, unpleasant images. Only someone who had been privileged enough to experienced the Erosian bonding could understand the void threatening her logic, the very core of her rationality, her existence.

  Cat blessed the Creator for the Glory of Wulfe's continued life, and in the same breath, cursed Garesh for taking her husband from her and plunging them into the deepest levels of the Underworld.

  From far, far away, she heard the maniacal laughter of the Underworld overseer as he crept closer, as if rational thought already trickled away, like tiny grains of sand through dry fingers.

  Chapter 4

  `MERCIFUL HEAVENS, but we've managed to open a pod full of dirt crawlers, Catherine.'

  Cat's initial alarm faded away when she noticed Flemming's quietly pleased expression. She admired the way the admiral always seemed to find the brighter side to any dark moment. Cat smiled weakly at his reassuring image on her comm screen. "Am I to understand you've hit a snag or two?"

  `Have you considered all the ramifications? By shipping the fighters and their crews to you now, we begin a personnel shuffle not expected so soon. To say the Command brass has been caught with their command pants down around their command ankles is accurate, thou
gh, I must admit, not an overly appealing mental image.'

  "And you're right in the middle of the chaos, enjoying every minute of their collective discomfort."

  `Every second, because for once, my pants are still fastened securely at my waist. Wheeler's report finally came through. Can't say that I'm pleased by all of his choices. He also neglected to mention a few minor details, such as relieving you of duty.

  "I'm not surprised, Admiral."

  `Wulfe hasn't come to yet?'

  Cat bit her lip and shook her head. The slight buoyancy of mood she'd experienced disappeared in a flash of emotional pain. Wulfe should be awake by now. She worried that his head injuries were more serious than Albright let on.

  `Damn.'

  Everyone needed Wulfe back on the job. Cat felt a fleeting sense of guilt and selfishness for missing him personally, then decided she had every right. She didn't want to broadcast her inadequacy, though, even to Flemming. Her feelings remained secondary. If admitting her own weakness helped Wulfe, then so be it.

  "Roy, I need to do this for Wulfe. He would expect me to act on his behalf and I--I need that connection right now."

  `Catherine, the orders for the flight crews are being cut now. The crews will be on their way before the day is done. The news will be released within the hour. Brace yourself young lady; Wheeler's not going to be happy with us.

  "Tell me something I don't know." When the screen went blank, Cat decided to be even more selfish and take advantage of the time Flemming had given her. She called out to Fallon, in Morgan's bedroom. "Let's take the children out of the quarters. Morgan needs a chance to run off some energy."

  For forty-five minutes, Cat pushed everything but her son and daughter to the back of her mind. She fed and cuddled Garrett while Fallon and Morgan played an exuberant game of tag through the arboretum's trees. She held Morgan on her lap while the girl giggled through the newest childish joke learned in the children's center. Even Fallon relaxed as she stretched out on the soft moss under the trees with Cat and the children.

  Wheeler eventually found Cat in the Falchion's arboretum. She watched him approach, his stiff-legged gait a warning indicator of his agitated mood. She motioned to Fallon, whose complexion had finally returned to a healthy, natural toffee color. "Take Garrett and Morgan back to our quarters. I'll join you as soon as I'm able."

  Fallon obliged her, gathered the little ones and their toys. Seemingly unaware of the stifling tension, the nurse gave Wheeler a flirtatious smile on her way past him.

  Wheeler spewed a string of angry, belligerent words meant to intimidate. His tactics didn't work.

  Cat sliced her hand through the air, stopped him in midsentence. "I won't have you ranting like a lunatic around my children, Mister Wheeler. You will have the decency to wait until they are gone."

  Cold silence filled the garden area until the nurse and her charges disappeared from sight. Cat tried to feel Wheeler's emotions, failed completely. Her own inner chaos more than made up for the lack. Dread and determination warred a silent battle. "Now, what's your problem?"

  "You just couldn't stay out of it, could you, Catherine?"

  So the orders had arrived from Command. Cat took a deep breath, prepared to bluff her way through. "What do you mean?"

  "Don't play the innocent with me. I know your game. You went over my head. The Falchion is being transformed into a warcruiser, despite my best suggestions. The fighters and flight crews are assigned to you. As an added insult, Lieutenant Lyon has been ordered to report directly to you, too. Tidy little job you've done, outflanking me that way."

  "I see." Did something more than hurt feelings drive him? She couldn't tell, but she took the fact that his hazel eyes wouldn't meet hers as a bad omen. Even without her empathic ability working, it was obvious his moods skipped from anger and on to near-mania at a drop of a nanochip.

  "You see? You see?" Wheeler's pretty-boy face contorted into ugly lines. "I'm surprised you didn't convince Flemming to court-martial me while you were at it."

  "The idea definitely appeals to me right now." Cat moved to sidestep him. "If I'm reinstated, I'd better get back to duty. We have enough work to keep an army busy."

  He grabbed her upper arm and squeezed. "That's all you have to say to me, Catherine? This is so easy for you, isn't it?"

  Easy? Nothing could be further from the truth. Cat wouldn't give him the satisfaction of looking up into his face, nor did she have the time to appeal to his vanity. Brutal truth, then. She stared at his grasping hand until he self-consciously released her and moved away.

  She exhaled a breath of relief. "Consider yourself lucky, Mister Wheeler. Up until now, I've tried not to step too hard on your touchy little toes, but with your present attitude, all wagers are off. If you can't help, stay out of my way. End of conversation."

  Cat walked away toward the nearest exit without hurrying, never looked back. She didn't need to block out Wheeler's anger; she couldn't feel any of his emotions. Fine by her. Empathic ability equaled pain; haunting death screams echoed in her mind. Cat shied away from thinking about those cries. Never hearing another death scream seemed like a wonderful idea. She almost stopped in her tracks. Could accepting the loss of her empathic abilities be the first telling sign of madness?

  The lift didn't even get Cat as far as the next deck before the comm tag on her uniform collar emitted a low tone, alerting her to an active link. "Culver."

  `Catherine, Nora here.'

  Cat instantly went on guard. The doctor seldom identified herself by her first name over a comm link. "One moment." Cat stepped off the lift when the car halted at the next deck. She found a deserted stretch of corridor before asking, "Wulfe?"

  Albright laughed gently, a sound of obvious relief. `He's beginning to regain consciousness. Finally. Moira's giving the captain a quick scan. By the time you get over here to the station, you'll be able to see for yourself. Interested?'

  "Oh, gods, Nora. I'm on my way." Heart beating almost as fast as her running feet pounded the deck, she raced to reach her husband's side. Cat pushed aside the worry of still not being able to sense him. She rejoiced in his awakening, even if she should have intuitively recognized his return to consciousness long before some piece of Albright's equipment did. One step at a time, she counseled herself, one victory at a time.

  Cat rushed back to the lift and zoomed her way down several levels to the secondary bay, where she commandeered the first available cutter and flew to the station. Once docked at Uhlein, she located an idle lift, thumbed the safety override and sped her way to the twenty-first level.

  She spied Moira standing in the corridor opposite Uhlein's main medical section. The woman's cool, remote expression remained unchanged. Cat's breath hitched in her chest. She barely managed to keep from shouting her questions. Only when she stood directly in front of the Syllogian doctor did she ask in a forced, calm voice, "Has something gone wrong?"

  "No, Commander. The captain should be opening his eyes any moment." Moira reached out to brush her fingertips against Cat's left temple, an automatic gesture of comfort and contact between those trained in the healing arts on Erosia. Moira drew her hand back and tucked a stray lock of black hair into the severely styled bun positioned at the back of her head.

  The typical Syllogian serenity of Moira's face managed to convey concern. "Are you coping with the situation, Commander?"

  "As well as can be expected." It was one thing to consciously block out or filter the strident emotions of those around her, but not having the choice changed matters, took away her control. Cat couldn't help but wonder if not being able to use her empathic powers hindered or helped her performance under pressure. Either way, the new isolation unnerved her.

  Now it seemed Moira may have picked up on some of the uncertainty. Cat could only hope the Syllogian hadn't discerned the reason for the insecurity badgering her.

  "Are you ready, Commander?"

  "Completely."

  "Go on in, then. Doctor
Albright is with the captain."

  "CAPTAIN? WAKE up, Captain. Time to rejoin us."

  "W'at?" Wulfe struggled and fought his way up from a blackness that seemed colder and more endless than space. Lonelier, too. What had he been doing? Images blurred together in his mind. Smoke. Fire. Desolate airlessness. Wulfe cleared his throat and tried again. "What'd you say?"

  "Rise and shine. Lie still a moment so I can take a few readings now that you're conscious."

  He complied even though the enforced lull in darkness felt like a perverse form of Earther torture. His muscles screamed for movement, action. "Finish. Now."

  "Take it easy. Catherine's on her way."

  "Catherine?" Wulfe blinked gritty, swollen eyelids.

  "Of course. She'd have my head if I didn't send for her right away. She may be busy making plans for the damage repair and modifications to the Falchion, but that won't stop her."

  "I see." He didn't, not really. Every time Albright mentioned Catherine he felt...nothing. A void. And what the narg was this person doing making plans for his ship?

  "Doctor? About this Ca--" Wulfe heard door panels slide open. He turned his head toward the sound in the darkness, tried to discern who entered the room. Why didn't someone turn on the lights?

  "Speaking of the lady, here she is now," Albright announced.

  The physician's false cheerfulness grated on his nerves, and with good reason. An overly cheerful Nora Albright usually meant trouble of some kind. "Who?"

  "Catherine, of course. Your wi--"

  "Blast it, Doctor, if you want me to meet this Catherine, whoever the narg she is, you could at least turn on some lights so I can see. Lights, fifty percent."

  "Oh, my dear sweet stars," Albright whispered.

  Wulfe heard a small noise come from the direction of the new arrival, a sound that could have been a soft gasp either of shock or of pain. The quiet exclamation made his heart lurch. "What's happened?"